I was given many labels when I was growing up.
A friend’s father once told me that he always remembered my name because I’m shaped like an ‘S’… he was referring to my butt sticking out.
My brother, followed closely by the rest of my family, often called me “Thunder Thighs”. The funny thing is that when I look back at photos my thighs were not that big…. however the paranoia about my thighs remains.
But the one that really REALLY HURT, the one that has stuck with me ever since, happened one day in high school.
I went to an all girls Catholic high school (thanks Mum!).
It happened in a Phys Ed / Personal Development class.
We all sat in a circle on the floor in the gym.
We were asked to get out a piece of paper and write our names at the top.
Done.
Now pass the paper to the person on your left.
Done.
Write one word that describes the person whose name is on the top of that piece of paper you now have.
OK….this could get ugly.
Repeat the process until you get back your piece of paper.
What does it say?
Mine read something like this…
quiet
quiet
quiet
quiet
quiet
quiet
quiet
…you get the picture.
I tried so hard to fight back the tears. I wanted to shout…out LOUD! These people don’t even know me! I don’t understand. I wrote nice things about everyone else… even those girls I didn’t like.
Being quiet is not a great quality to have… OK it can be but it’s not everything that I am!
This day had a huge impact on my life. I withdrew into my shell even more. Self fulfilling prophesy. And I pretty much stayed there until I left school.
…but that’s another story!
This post is in response to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop prompt 1.) In what way were you labeled as a child and how did it affect you?
Hi Sam, great post, and I appreciate your candor.
As someone who has lots of wry, humorous observations that I keep to myself (well, I have started writing them down and turning them into short stories), I can relate to being perceived as “quiet” when in reality there’s plenty of great stuff going on in your mind!
Can’t wait to read more eventually about that “after school” no-longer-quiet part of your life!
Stopping by from Mama Kat’s.
they say it’s the quiet ones you have to watch.
thanks for stopping by
Being quiet isn’t such a bad thing. That’s probably what kids would have written about me too. I was very quiet in school–my friends were at church.
Stopping by from Writer’s Workshop. Here’s ours: http://zemeks.blogspot.com/2010/10/fat-stutterer-writers-workshop.html
Found you from Mama Kat’s Workshop. I really enjoyed reading this story. While I certainly wasn’t not the quiet girl in school, I got so sick and tired of people labeling me as the bubbly, happy and outgoing girl. Sometimes, I really just wanted to be known as the quiet and mysterious girl. So, at least you had that going for you. The grass is always greener on the other side, huh?
Check out my blog at http://leahainla.blogspot.com/
Wow. That is really impactful. If I were someone in that circle I would have written something different if everyone before me wrote the same word.
I would have been worried that your friend’s dad was checking out your butt!
I too, wanted to be the quiet, mysterious one… but my big mouth got in the way!
You should have yelled out! Give them all something to wonder about. Sometimes labels can be really hurtful.
sounds like your “labelers” were too lazy to find out who you were.
shame on them!
(if you give lessons on “Quiet”, I’ll sign my 3 boys up right away!
)
great post. looking forward to reading about your
“post high school blossoming”